Black and Blue

MRI Results

This picture is from a week later after it happened, the purple section is where the tear actually happened

For the past four months I have been anxiously awaiting the fall season with all the dreams I had created for myself. I carefully planned out and overscheduled myself with many fun activities. Part of this grand scheme was to get fit by dancing. I signed up for jazz dance on Saturdays, ballroom on Tuesdays and modern dance on Thursdays. In my spare time I would fit 40 hours of work in and a weight lifting class. I also bought tickets for Celine Dion and Jessica Simpson concerts and tickets to see two plays at the Glendale theatre and two dance performances. One of my close friends Tara is coming for Thanksgiving weekend and we have various fun activities planned. By Christmas I was going to be in amazing shape since I would be spending 8 hours a week working out.

The semester started and I was LOVING every single minute of every class and was getting into a rhythm with my week. Each teacher appealed to me in unique ways. My classmates were so much fun and I felt so alive and completely was in a state of euphoria. I woke up excited everyday for my dance classes and even purchased $65 dollar ballroom shoes.

It was the second week of classes and before walking into modern dance class I made plans with Caralee to go swing dancing Friday night at a place called Memories. Once in class we spent an hour warming up and then she split us up into groups and we danced across the floor and then created a simple routine with a partner. At first I was joined with two others and this guy did not have a partner and so my instructor asked if I would be is partner. We practiced the dance and then waited as everyone took their turn. It was the last ten minutes of class and we were the second to last to go and after we finished the step our instructor created we made a loop running and linked arms and that is when I heard a popping sound in my leg and I was in so much pain. I quickly grabbed onto someone to catch my balance and slowly sat down. I felt like I had a massive Charlie Horse in my calf. Much to my surprise my classmates came prepared for injuries; one had frozen water and the other had a cream that was supposed to help with dance injuries. Another classmate worked on massaging my leg to try and make it feel better. After 10 minutes I was still in pain and could not walk on my leg. I was helped to my car and filled out an accident form.

Friday, I was still in a lot of pain, especially when walking and had to walk like a crab. I cancelled my fun swing dancing outing and we opted to go to dinner instead. This was in hindsight a bad judgment on my end because we could not find parking close and I ended up walking way too far and at moments the throbbing was extremely intense when my leg flexed. (As a side note, Caralee has been an amazing friend. She has spent every weekend with me and has been content to just watch movies in my freezing cold room. What a trooper!)

On Sunday I woke up to a bruise starting to form on my calf and throughout the day the bruise was growing in size and colors. My leg was extremely swollen. By Monday it covered my whole back leg and all my co-workers were urging me to the Doctor’s. By a miracle they had a cancellation and I got into see the Doctor. He originally thought it was a hairline fracture and I was sent to do an MRI which confirmed it was in fact a partial tear in my left leg calf muscle. If it had ripped completely then surgery would have been involved. On Wednesday I meet with my Doctor and got three shots in my leg and then got prescribed with a boot for walking, physical therapy three times a week for 4-6 weeks and I was stupid and declined drugs because I thought I could handle the pain. Thursday comes and I get fitted for my boot. Talk about uncomfortable! Then I went to my first session of physical therapy and what a relief! They knew how to best help me. I was told to get a cane and then received a page full of instructions relating to my injury. I found out it was worse then I thought because this type of thing takes forever to heal! So here are my following list of pros and cons relating to my injury.

Pros
1. Dean my physical therapist and John the assistant are the BEST physical therapists and have been so helpful. Actually the whole staff is wonderful

2. I found a metallic pink cane at rite aid and have received many accolades for it!

3.I get a handicapped sign to use until December

4.People have been so nice in opening my door and being kind

5. I might get to sit closer in Jessica Simpson’s concert since I have to be in a wheelchair (Doctor’s orders)

6. I don’t have to give blood anymore on Thursday for the blood drive at work. (I had signed up out of guilt and was forbidden after the injury to give blood. I know it sounds horrible, but I have an aversion to needles!)

7. It could have been worse and its making me count my blessings for what I do have

8. It is giving me more compassion for people who deal with these limitations on a lifetime basis

9.The different colors of the bruises look like a rainbow making it prettier to look at

10. I can now if it is possible double up on human resource classes when it starts in October since I'm stuck resting my leg, I might as well be doing homework than watching cable.

11.I have great health insurance and so this is only costing me the Doctor’s visits which is adding up, but is still cheap all things considered. $25 for specialist visits and $15 for physical therapy visits.

Cons
1. I am so sad about having to give up my dance classes; I cried more over this then the actual injury. (Truth be told I am crying right now as I write this, I am trying not to get depressed!)

2.I hate walking in the boot and with a cane

3. This boot makes me itch!

4. I dislike everyone starring at me

5. I am tired of propping my foot at night, during the day, etc…

6.The exercises are painful but necessary; because I now have a weak leg

7. I am tired of lying in bed every night after work when I want to be dancing

8. I don’t get to wear high heels for a very long time

9.I have to ask for help

10. I am dying to deep clean my room and can’t bend my leg to really do a good job and let’s face it, I am lacking energy and motivation. I really want to wash my sheets and bedding though. This will hopefully get done on Friday.

11. I can’t physically wash my car and I want to detail it out

12. Its not even a cool story, I did it running

13. I am disappointed that I won’t get to be in the best physical shape by Christmas

14. Everything is harder now, shopping, cleaning, cooking, etc…

15. My wardrobe is limited to what can fit the boot

16. I now have fears of it tearing more if I am not super careful

17. I have to drag myself to work because I spend the day uncomfortable and sitting

18. My dreams are on hold and I feel cheated because I feel like I only have so much time to live out my dancing fantasies and now I have to waste this time doing nothing when I could of been having a blast!

Thanks for joining my pity party and please for my sake enjoy using your legs and don't take it for granted! :) Till Next Time!