I know we are here for at least another year and a half, if not longer depending on my husband's career and schooling. The Lord is really smart, because he gave me this new calling and I feel like it is my ticket to get out of going to my own ward each week! Sad, huh. I can go to other wards in my Stake and I can hopefully met other women like me. I think what makes me the saddest is knowing that church is not where cliques should exist. I think we can have our own friends that we like being friends with and spending time with and that is normal and good. I just wonder if there is a balance to it all, how do we make others feel welcomed?
What started my little rant...
I was at a baby shower, and I walked over to this table to help clean up and overheard some of the women from this said clique planning a girls night out and they quickly and quietly stopped talking, because of course I am not invited (objectively, that is kind of them to stop talking about it). How would that have made you feel? I felt awful. I acted like I did not hear anything and went home and my little one greeted me with hugs and kisses and so much excitement, it made me feel better. At least I am popular with the little people crowd. And then my hubby was excited to see me and of course that made me feel great too, I love their dear souls!
I have tried many different things here in the past 18 months, I have hosted my own girls nights in at my house and invited them (though only one of them came in this group, still it was fun and I did meet others I loved). I have been friendly, etc... and nothing seems to help me. So I surrender. I am just not cool enough and that is okay. I figure, I can wallow about it or I can work out my frustrations on the elliptical (mental note). That way, if I am lucky enough to sell our house in the next three years and move, then maybe I can look the way I used too when I was in my early twenties and something good will come out of these frustrating experiences (yes I have learned many times about the times I was not invited). Reading the scriptures and conference talks helps too and spending a lot of time with Jeff and Emma. I should probably pray for these women too! LOL :)
I know it sounds pathetic that I let this group of women influence how I feel about myself, there are many people here who do like me. Many of them just not my age or who work, have older children, etc... I am going to focus on them. Thanks for letting me rant a bit, I feel better! haha
I promise I won't use every post to express my frustration! I do love many aspects about my life! :)
President Thomas S. Monson.... Mortality is a period of testing, a time to prove ourselves worthy to return to the presence of our Heavenly Father. In order to be tested, we must sometimes face challenges and difficulties. At times there appears to be no light at the tunnel’s end—no dawn to break the night’s darkness. We feel surrounded by the pain of broken hearts, the disappointment of shattered dreams, and the despair of vanished hopes. We join in uttering the biblical plea “Is there no balm in Gilead?” 6 We are inclined to view our own personal misfortunes through the distorted prism of pessimism. We feel abandoned, heartbroken, alone. If you find yourself in such a situation, I plead with you to turn to our Heavenly Father in faith. He will lift you and guide you. He will not always take your afflictions from you, but He will comfort and lead you with love through whatever storm you face.
P.S. No matter who ignores you at church, it is never a good idea to stop attending. I endorse going to church, just remember people are not perfect, though the Gospel is and can help us all be better! I do love the southern saying, "bless their souls!" That is what I am going to start telling myself when I struggle being around these ladies! haha
